I Know You
by sxevlbtch
Summary: But everything else around her is lost in that moment, and the only thing she can focus on is him. Every muscle in his body was a tightly wound string, ready to snap, ready to strike out… at her. She can't help the single tear that runs down her cheek. She comprehends, but she doesn't understand. How did it come to this? How did they get here? [River x Jayne]
1. I Know You

AN: I was listening to the song I know you by Skylar Grey today and the idea for this story just kind of sprang into my head. It's just a short one/ maybe two shot story about River and Jayne. Hope you all enjoy!

XXX

River's POV

 ** _I believe, I believe there's love in you_**

 ** _Grid locked on the dusty avenues_**

 ** _Inside your heart, just afraid to go_**

She looks at the rigid form of Jayne standing in front of her in the cargo bay. They aren't alone, the rest of the crew of Serenity are all around… well what remains. The void of Shepherd Book and Wash was still felt after Miranda two years ago.

But everything else around her is lost in that moment, and the only thing she can focus on is him. Every muscle in his body was a tightly wound string, ready to snap, ready to strike out… at her. She can't help the single tear that runs down her cheek. She comprehends, but she doesn't understand. How did it come to this? How did they get here?

XXX

… 12 months ago…

 ** _I am more, I am more than innocent_**

 ** _But just take a chance and let me in_**

 ** _And I'll show you ways that you don't know_**

She still remembers the first time she heard it… barely a whisper in the back of her mind. She doesn't even know if he meant to allow it out of his subconscious, but it escaped through the cracks. A simple thought… a simple comparison.

They were sitting at the dining table. Their last job couldn't pay with credits, but offered them produce and future work in exchange for their services. Captain Daddy had been in a generous mood, the job was simple transport the next planet over, so he had agreed to the deal.

Jayne had been cleaning his guns at the table when Kaylee and she had carried in the crates of assorted produce. Kaylee had been conspiratorially grabbed a peach from a crate and headed out the door to find Simon. Thoughts of peaches and cream filter through her head, and she suppresses a small giggle. She's happy for them.

"Careful with that moon brain." Jayne says as she starts to unpack the crates. "Don't want any of your crazy antics with our payment." He doesn't bother looking up from his work on cleaning his guns, and she throws him a glare.

Jayne had become more and more antagonistic to her over the last year. Never in front of the others. He'd learned that doing that just got him more chores as punishment for antagonizing the resident crazy girl, now pilot.

When he does look up at her he has the hint of a smirk on his face when he sees her death glare.

And that's when she hears the whisper. She isn't even sure he realized he thought it.

 _"_ _Her lips look like cherries."_

Jayne didn't think about lips. He thought of guns, booze, money, ass, and tits. Never lips…and never hers.

She can't control the flush that threatens to creep into her cheeks, and does the only thing she can think of… run. She quickly drops the apple she had been holding on the table, turns on her heel and practically sprints out the door past Captain Daddy.

"Albatross, where you going, you got work to do!" He calls after her, but she doesn't stop.

"She'll be in her bunk." She throws over her shoulder, not daring to turn around.

Never lips… and never hers.

XXX

… 8 months ago…

 ** _Don't complicate it,_**

 ** _Don't let the past dictate_**

She spent the next two months avoiding him at all costs. She couldn't face the onslaught of confusing emotion his presence stirred in her. She would leave rooms as soon as he entered, or would purposely take a longer route to avoid where he currently was on the ship.

When they did have to be in the same room, she shut everyone's thoughts out. Placed the strongest mental blocks she could. Because she had to shut out the memory of that whisper. But her resolve was slowly slipping, and it was leading to more and more confrontations these days.

The verbal barbs they threw at each other were becoming more and more abusive. And more than once they had to be physically separated to avoid coming to blows. Which is why they were currently both being forced to clean the water tank together as punishment when they were parked on Harvest.

"It's all your gorram fault moon brain." Jayne kept muttering every few minutes. "Just can't give a man no peace, can you?"

She rolls her eyes. "Jayne is a girl's name." She says offhandedly, but before she knows it two large hands come to rest on either side of her head trapping her to the side of the metal container.

His mind is seething. The muscles in his jaw are clenched tight she can practically hear the grinding of his teeth. "Girly, I once warned you about what I would do to show you Jayne ain't no girl's name. You really want to go down that path?" He says with menace in his tone.

Her eyes narrow into catlike slits. She refuses to let him intimidate her. She could easily take him in a fight, even despite the close quarters they were in. "Jayne is a girl's…" but she doesn't get any more out as his body presses into her, further trapping her against the metal wall.

It's like a wave of fire, his body radiates so much heat and anger. But that's not what startles her, no… it's the pressure she feels on her right thigh that startles her the most. She opens her mouth and a small gasp barely above a whisper escapes. And because of that his eyes dart down to her lips, and his jaw clenches even tighter.

And in an instant his resolve breaks and he's shoving away from her and climbing out of the metal compartment. She doesn't move, but can clearly hear his loud footfalls stomping away and past oncoming softer ones.

"Jayne, where you going, you got work to do!" Zoe's voice can be heard calling out to the merc.

"I'll be in my bunk." Is the only response she hears in a rather angry tone.

XXX

… 7 months ago…

 ** _I believe, I believe you could love me_**

 ** _But you're lost on the road to misery_**

 ** _And what I gave to you_**

 ** _I could never get back!_**

He hadn't antagonized her after that. No, now it was Jayne who avoided her, and avoided any form of confrontation or communication with her at all costs. The crew had commented on this new behavior more than once, but each time they were met with the same evil glare from him.

Captain Daddy had made a joke once about the girl besting him at some unspoken contest or something, and all he did was turn and leave the table where they had all been eating.

She should be happy. She "won" as Captain Daddy had pointed out. But she didn't feel that way. She felt hurt and confused. She was half tempted to pry into his mind, but she couldn't bring herself to betray her unspoken vow to herself to not.

It's the middle of Serenity's night cycle a month later when she's tossing in turning in confusion. She hadn't really slept well in the past month and was doing her best to hide it from the others. Makeup could do wonders for the bags under her eyes, but on nights like this? When the knots in her stomach were wound even tighter? There was only one thing that really helped calm her.

She slowly sits up from her bed and walks over to the ladder leading out of her bunk. She doesn't bother changing out of her short night dress or with shoes, her feet were more accustomed to the metal grating than they were the inside of her shoes.

Her soft footsteps take her into the cargo bay, and up towards the spare shuttles. Both shuttles are empty since Inara spent all of her nights in Mal's bunk now, but she still never goes into the shuttle that used to be hers. It never felt right.

The other shuttle though, it provided more space than her bunk and more privacy than the cargo bay for her to dance. It's not that she minded the idea of the crew seeing her dance in general, she just didn't want them to see her pain through it.

The tension in her body is almost unbearable before the soft music comes on through the shuttle's comm. But the minute the first few notes of the piano filter into her head it's as if her mind has shut off and her body falls into its rhythmic therapy. Her body twists, her legs fold, her arms stretch around the small room, and she finally begins to feel peace fill her.

But that peace is short lived as she spins and a dark figure stands in the door. The light from the cargo bay illuminates the form, but she doesn't need any light to know who it is.

"Whatcha doing in here moon brain." Jayne says as he brings a small bottle of whiskey up to his mouth to take a swig as he simultaneously takes a step into the shuttle.

It's the most he's said to her in the past month. And it wasn't said in anger. She was even more confused.

"Couldn't sleep." She says as she watches him walk further into the shuttle. "You?" She asks tentatively.

He stops a few feet away from her now and takes another swig of the whiskey. "Couldn't sleep."

Maybe it was her sleep deprived mind or the knots reforming in her stomach again, but her body feels compelled to do something her mind knows she probably shouldn't. She closes the distance between, stands up on her tippy toes, and places a small chaste kiss on his lips.

But before she realizes her mistake, he has her pinned to the nearest wall. His eyes are level with hers and they are seething in anger.

"Gorrman moon brain what the fuck was that!" He hisses at her.

"Because you wouldn't." But she doesn't get anything else out before his lips come crashing down on hers. The smashing of the whiskey bottle on the floor coinciding with the crashing of their lips. His tongue not waiting for permission into her mouth, starts to furiously duel with hers.

Her hands snake around his neck and her legs around his waist, as his body pushes further into her, already alive and responsive to her touch.

XXX

 ** _Chemicals rushing in,_**

 ** _I know it's you that I belong to_**

His hands work their way underneath her night dress that is now pooling around her hips. His rough fingertips feel like burning trails down her cool skin. She can already feel how hard he is underneath the pants he's wearing. He's setting her on fire, and she has to feel more. She untangles her legs from around his waist and she quickly snatches the night dress up over her head. He does the same with the shirt he's wearing, before he once again crashes his lips to hers and her arms snake around his neck.

She doesn't hear the zipper of his pants, or the material hit the floor. She only hears her soft moans into his mouth.

She doesn't feel the pain as he quickly slips two digits into her core. She only feels the immense pleasure and wetness that follows shortly after.

Time stands still. Every inch of her is awake and on fire in ways that she never knew possible. He pulls back from the kiss now and looks her square in the eye. Asking for silent permission. She nods her head as she's the one to bring her lips back on to his.

She feels him enter a second later. It's not soft or gentle, she wouldn't expect it to be. It's not slow or patient, it wasn't their style. It's fast, intense, painful, and oh so pleasurable.

XXX

… 2 months ago…

 ** _I'm burning like a cannonball in the air_**

 ** _Crashing into who I belong to_**

 ** _I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith_**

After the first time she had taken precautions into her own hands and stolen away from the ship to procure her own form of contraceptives. It was easy enough to make up an excuse for her hour absence the next time they made landfall. Easy enough to find a clinic that provided her the necessary implant for a few credits.

Because she knew they couldn't stop after that. Without fail, they had started to find their way to each other in the darkest recesses of the night, during that witching hour where they both lost control in the other.

It continued like that for months. He never said a word to her during those nightly trysts, and she was almost afraid to. Afraid to chase away the ghost she swore he was.

But one night it was different. It wasn't fast, but slow and methodical despite her best efforts to make him go faster. It was just as intense, but softer, as if he was trying to memorize every inch of her. It wasn't until after that she realized why.

"We have to stop." Was all he said as he walked out the shuttle door.

It was as if the air had been sucked out of her lungs. As if she was trapped in that stolen breath. The tears followed shortly after she exhaled. She didn't understand.

XXX

…Present…

 ** _The shadows of your heart are hanging in the sweet, sweet air_**

 ** _I know you baby_**

 ** _The secrets that you hide, control us and it's just not fair_**

 ** _I know you baby_**

She looks at the rigid form of Jayne standing in front of her. The past year playing over in her mind. As the single tear rolls down her cheek, its as if a fuse has been lit and her blood begins to boil. She wanted some goddamn answers.

"Jayne." She says with anger dripping from her voice.

No one else seems to notice what she has said, but he does. He turns to her, the same mask of anger he's had for the past 2 months plastered to his face.

"Why?"

He scoffs at her question. "Now you ask why moon brain?"

She looks at him defiantly. "Yes."

He's quick to close the distance between them in several strides. They didn't have the rest of the crew's attention before, but she was sure they did now as she felt their eyes and minds trained on them.

"Because it ain't fair to me." He whispers to her meeting her eyes with a cold steely gaze.

"Why?" She presses.

And all the anger in that cold steely gaze crumbles and is replaced with pain and inadequacy. "Because it just don't work."

He could have sucker punched her for all she cared. How could be know it wouldn't work? "But I love you." She says in a whisper.

Didn't that count?

XXX


	2. Crazy in Love

Crazy in Love (2014 Remix) by Beyonce

XXX

River's POV

…Present…

 ** _You got me looking, so crazy my baby_**

 ** _I'm not myself lately I'm foolish, I don't do this_**

 ** _I've been playing myself, baby I don't care_**

Time stands still as she waits for him to say something, anything in response to her declaration.

"Don't say shit you don't mean moon brain." He finally says with a hint of… was it reluctance?

"But she does…I do. Love you."

XXX

… 6 months ago…

 ** _Baby your love's got the best of me_**

 ** _Baby you're making a fool of me_**

 ** _You got me sprung and I don't care who sees_**

 ** _Cause baby you got me, you got me, oh you got me, you got me_**

She remembers when they first started to manifest. Small at first… like butterflies easing their way out of the knots that had once occupied her stomach.

They no longer avoided each other. Avoidance had been replaced with stolen glances. They still fought, still had to be told to back off. But the verbal lashings were never serious, at least not in their eyes. It was merely to keep up appearances. No, each insult or crude comment only seemed to stoke a fire in them that they were only privy to. Evidenced by the twinkle in their eyes that only they shared.

And each passing day… each passing verbal sparing, coupled with the physical sparing they did in the depths of night, made the butterflies bigger and bigger.

XXX

… 4 months ago…

 ** _I look and stare so deep in your eyes_**

 ** _I touch on you more and more every time_**

 ** _When you leave I'm begging you not to go_**

There was one night, before their last night, that was different than the rest. He was kissing her neck, his hands fisting into her hair and the skin of her thigh. And she suddenly had the urge to say his name… she wanted to scream it from the top of her lungs… wanted anything in the world to be able to make words come out of her mouth.

But she couldn't. Every time she opened her mouth a gasp would escape, and it would be as if the words died on the tip of her tongue.

And it made her heart sting. She was a coward. She could face down a hoard of Reavers, could take on men twice her size in a bar brawl; but she couldn't find the courage to speak to him during their trysts.

When they finish… when he's walking out the shuttle door… she wants to ask him to stay. Wants more than anything to wake up in his arms the next day. But she just watches as he walks through the door.

And she knows. Knows in the pit of her stomach what those butterflies meant.

XXX

… Present…

 ** _Such a funny thing for me to try to explain_**

 ** _How I'm feeling and my pride is the one to blame_**

 ** _And I still don't understand_**

 ** _Just how your love could do what no one else can_**

But then she hears the last thing she ever expected to hear. "I ain't good enough for you to love."

The sincerity and seriousness of his words fill her ears and her heart breaks into a million pieces while simultaneously filling with joy. It was a mistake. A misunderstanding. He didn't think he was good enough for her. Poor misguided Jayne. Couldn't he see how he could do what no one else could? How only he could truly make her feel... make her whole?

So she does the one thing she can think of. She captures his lips in most brutally honest and breathtaking kiss she can. And he returns the kiss as if he had being dying of thirst and she's the river that breathes life back into him.

She feels his hands clutching at her body the same time she hears muffled yells. She's vaguely aware of Simon yelling something about "defiling his sister" and Captain Daddy saying something about his eyes and being spaced.

But she doesn't care. Because when they finally do manage to separate the two, his eyes aren't filled with anger or sadness. No, his face lights up with devious joy…and he looks like a man in love.

And the words that make it through all the others make her the happiest she's ever been. "Love you too moon brain."

XXX

AN: Yeah, so it's cheesy and mushy. But since the first part was more on the angsty side, I wanted something sweeter for the ending.


End file.
